Facing bumps in the road and moving past them...

Well, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth but I have been hiding...from my bumps in the road that I've experienced the last three weeks. I've been hiding from my supporters and from those who ask on a daily basis how things are going. Truth is...I have fallen back into my old patterns...I'm not exercising the way that I should and I'm not making smart choices in the foods that I'm eating.  And, with that being said,...I've been embarrassed to update everyone on my lack of progress and the fact that I've gained 2 pounds since my last post.

During week 16 of my  journey, I spent an amazing 5 days in Austin, Texas for the NCAA tournament!  The weather was beautiful and I was able to be outside and explore the  University of Texas and other areas of Austin during our downtime between games.  I only really managed one real workout on the trip but I was so excited to finish my 3rd 5K on the treadmill at the hotel in 41:45, cutting 5 minutes off my personal best!  I ran/walked next to one of my cheerleaders, which definitely motivated me to push myself a little harder!  After that, I pretty much took the rest of the time off from the fitness room...not a good idea.  

When travelling, we had to eat out for every meal.  I haven't mastered the art of selecting the healthiest options and resisting the tempting choices when eating out.  I definitely was more aware of my choices than I had been in the past, but that didn't necessarily mean I made the best choices.  The pressure of always eating the right food is difficult sometimes...I start to feel like I'm depriving myself of things that I enjoy.  

I really hit a funk when I got back into town and was met with the 10-12 inches of snow that had fallen on Champaign while I was gone.  That was a complete disappointment and was so frustrating and depressing to me.  I know everyone is ready for Spring and I'm no different...I am over the cold weather and the dreary skies...I need some warmth and some sunshine!  

Week 17 was chaotic with the weather and trying to catch up from being gone from work the previous week.  I didn't make it into the gym and I still wasn't making smart choices about what I ate.  There were early morning meetings, lunch meetings, late meetings after the work day...all things that needed to be done but took me away from focusing on taking care of myself.  I wasn't thinking ahead to what meals to prepare...I wasn't scheduling workouts into my day.  I fell into my old habits with ease and started making excuses about why I couldn't take care of myself.  Leading up to Easter where I was surrounded by my favorite foods and my true enemy...CANDY...this was not a good sign for me.  

Looking back, I'm completely frustrated and disappointed that I didn't see this pattern creeping its way back into my life...and I'm even more frustrated that when I did notice it...I didn't do anything about it.

Week 18 had to be one of the most stressful weeks I've had in a while...I actually started the week out well and made it to circuit training on Monday during the lunch hour.  However, that's where my progress ended...I had planned to get to the gym Monday after work and my schedule was derailed by an unexpected interview at the end of the work day.  I then tried to run outside for the first time, thinking that I really needed to get a couple of 5K runs in so my body would be used to running outside come race day on April 26th.  I was freezing and only made it through 1.55 miles before I stopped.  The cold was killing my knees and I was miserable.  Of course, falling back into my old patterns...I didn't see the positive side of the run...the fact that I had made it halfway through in the cold and wind outside.  Instead, I felt defeated that I hadn't been able to finish.

By the end of the week, I honestly felt like I was going to blow.  If something could go wrong it did...work was incredibly stressful...managing things at home was incredibly stressful...trying to find time to take care of myself seemed completely out of my control.  However, on Friday of this past week, I realized that if I didn't take some of this control back, I was going to quickly end up right where I started 18 weeks ago...and that was, completely miserable in my own skin.  I have to thank Laura for making me leave the office over the lunch hour on Friday and getting me into the gym...and really, thanks isn't enough.  We went about 30 minutes prior to the circuit training class and just got on the elliptical machines and warmed up...then we completed the circuit training and headed back to work.  I could tell immediately, how much better my mood was just from that 60 minutes in the gym.  It's exactly what I needed!

That night, my daughter and I ran our first 5K together outside.  I ran the entire way with her by my side and while it was a slow jogging pace, it was a constant jog and we finished together in 43:55!  I am so proud of her for running with me and she told me how proud she was of me when we finished.  What a blessing!  Just when I was about ready to throw in the towel and give into my hectic life that was pushing me down...Kennedy stood beside me and helped me reach my goal.  Seeing her pride in me reminded me of why I started this journey...to be a better example for my girls.

Now if I could just get the healthy nutrition lifestyle to become a habit within the walls of my home...I would feel like I've really accomplished something and we would all be better off!  Some days, that barrier seems insurmountable...

So as you can see, I'm not hiding anymore...I have shared my "shame" from the past three weeks and I'm okay with it.  Gaining 2 pounds isn't what I was hoping for but it is what I deserve given that I haven't done anything to change it and now I'm ready to get back to work and get the weight off.  I'm not completely over the hump but I did make it into the gym on Saturday and completed a cycling class.  I am really sore because I had taken so much time off from the workouts but I'll work through the pain.  After all...I know what's on the other side of the pain...and that's my happiness.